After Words?

My worst nightmare, or at least one of them, happened the other day when I decided to take a long, hot, soaking bath in the late afternoon. My husband had gone out to buy a lawnmower, and I was left alone in our new home that includes something we’ve ever had before: a master bedroom avec, en suite, a big bathroom with spacious shower and an enormous, jetted tub. Sinking into the hot, steamy water, I picked up my sponge (that looks like a flower) and gently placed it onto my shoulder, along with a large black spider! I couldn’t believe my eyes! Orkin had already been here! But there it was!

Anyone who knows me appreciates how much I am not exaggerating to say I LEAPT out of that tub, brushing at the horror and managing (somehow) not to slip and fall on the tile. Lest I bore you with details, I will simply say it was a prolonged battle to get that spider down the drain (which I promptly clamped shut). To my knowledge, I was not bitten, and I am still amazed that I didn’t slip or fall or hurt myself in any way.

I was shaking like a leaf, however, so I reached out by phone for prayer, and a Sister helped me remember that nothing happens without God’s permission. I do recognize I was not alone in that nightmare circumstance. I get that. Still, however, I have been battling a fear that is visceral, feeling vulnerable at every turn and randomly at risk. I think it’s an issue of control because, for days now, I have been poised and ready for a leaf to turn into a spider, for a branch to turn into a snake. I have been jumpy at every turn: taking my walk, swimming in the outdoor pool, putting on my shoes, even crawling into bed. God has been listening patiently to me struggling with this, but I was not hearing back. Until yesterday. And this is what He said:

“To be vigilant is wise; to live in fear is not necessary.”

So…. that’s where I am “at” today. Grateful for an experience I did not want to have, grateful for the practice in trusting God no matter what pops out. Chime in if you care to share or comment. Meanwhile, I gotta go. The man from Orkin is here!

This image appeared on Twitter this morning, but I forgot to note the source, and now I can’t find it. My thanks to whomever it was! Later the same day: it was posted by @YouVersion.

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